The (wrong) reason we keep secrets: Research finds fears of judgment are overblown

January 4, 2024 This editorial piece has been meticulously vetted following the principles of Science X's editorial procedure and integrity standards. The content integrity was underscored by performing fact checks, intellectual peer reviews, sourcing from trustworthy publications, and proofreading by Judie Kinonen, from the University of Texas at Austin.

In the context of professional or personal relationships, people tend to withhold unfavorable information about themselves, fearing severe judgment. However, this fear is excessive, according to a groundbreaking study by the McCombs School of Business. This study is officially published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Interestingly, the study discovered that participants who found the courage to disclose secrets were met with more empathy than anticipated.

"When individuals contemplate sharing unwelcome information about themselves, they are mostly concentrated on the message's content," asserts study co-author Amit Kumar, who also holds a position as assistant professor of marketing at Texas McCombs. "However, the receivers tend to consider the admirable characteristics required for revealing such information, such as trustworthiness, openness, and vulnerability."

Kumar worked with Michael Kardas of Oklahoma State University and Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago to explore a series of 12 experiments. They asked several groups to envisage the disclosure of a negative secret and predict the judgment from another person. The participants were then asked to reveal their secret, and their responses were collected. The predicted judgments were regularly more grave than the real responses, indicating that people's decisions to disclose or withhold information were hugely influenced by anticipated evaluations from others.

Interestingly, choosing to disclose information worked against this fear. Notably, individuals receiving the information rated the disclosers' honesty and trustworthiness much higher than they originally assumed. These findings applied across the board - including strangers, casual acquaintances, close friends, family members, and romantic partners.

While the participants anticipated that sharing severe secrets would lead to harsher judgments, results showed that they often overestimated this impact. "The severity of the information you're revealing can influence others' assessments but it can also affect your anticipations of those assessments," notes Kumar.

When informed about the tendency to exaggerate the negative outcomes of revealing information, participants demonstrated a willingness to be more open. For instance, when asked to admit lying, only 56% of participants confessed. However, when another group was reassured that they wouldn't be faced with severe judgment, a remarkable 92% opted for transparency.

As Kumar explains, there are mental strain and psychological discomfort associated with concealing secrets. By adjusting people's anticipation to align with reality, they are likely to practice more transparency, enhancing their interpersonal relationships. Though the studies were not business-related, Kumar believes the lessons are applicable in the workplace. "A comprehensive understanding of workplace dynamics requires knowledge of individuals' thoughts, feelings, and actions," he says. "When issues occur at work, people should learn that being open and honest about negative information can also display warmth, sincerity, and trust."

The study, titled "Let it go: How exaggerating the reputational costs of revealing negative information encourages secrecy in relationships," is available in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2023). DOI: 10.1037/pspi0000441. Journal reference: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The information provided is courtesy of the University of Texas at Austin.