The Wild Kingdom of Schottenheimer: Another Day, Another Creature Invasion

You know, some folks have a knack for collecting rare stamps, others for antique cars. Brian Schottenheimer, it seems, has a burgeoning, albeit accidental, collection of wild backyard visitors. Just when you thought his animal tales couldn't get any stranger, well, they did. Because honestly, the Dallas Cowboys offensive coordinator has found himself, yet again, in the midst of a rather peculiar wildlife encounter right at his doorstep. And for the record, he’s starting to wonder if his home simply has a magnet for the wonderfully weird denizens of the wild.

Remember last year? Ah, yes, the great armadillo invasion of Schottenheimer's yard. It became a bit of a running gag, didn’t it? The kind of quirky story that sports writers—and let's be real, his colleagues—just love to bring up. Those little armored diggers, rooting around, turning his meticulously kept lawn into something resembling a lunar landscape. You could say it was an experience, certainly memorable, but also perhaps a harbinger of things to come.

Because fast forward to now, and Schottenheimer's not dealing with burrowing bandits anymore. Oh no, this time it’s something altogether different, something...taller. Something with, get this, antlers. He’s not entirely sure what it is, mind you, still trying to pinpoint the species with the precision of a seasoned scout. A baby deer, perhaps? Or maybe, just maybe, some kind of elk? The mystery, in truth, only adds to the charm—or perhaps, the mild exasperation.

It’s a truly comical image, isn't it? A high-profile NFL coach, meticulously crafting offensive strategies for one of the most storied franchises in sports, then returning home to find his yard has become an impromptu wildlife sanctuary. He's been good-natured about it, of course, a true sport. But one can't help but picture him, probably scratching his head, maybe even chuckling to himself, as he peers out at his latest four-legged guest. He's even put out a bit of a playful plea for help, asking if anyone else has these 'animal problems,' as if there’s a secret handbook for dealing with repeat wildlife intrusions.

So, what’s next for the Schottenheimer household, one wonders? A flock of wild turkeys staging a sit-in? A rogue badger attempting to join the coaching staff? Whatever it is, you can bet it'll be unexpected, probably a little bit bizarre, and absolutely, unequivocally, a story worth telling. His home, it seems, isn't just a place of rest and strategy; it's a living, breathing, unpredictable nature documentary, starring Brian Schottenheimer as its delightfully bewildered host.