The only In/Out List you actually need to read for 2024

Legend has it that the In/Out list originated in , when fashion editor Nina Hyde launched a in its Style section in 1978. Said column, “The List”, is still running more than 40 years later, but–having been popular on social media for all of two years–X, TikTok and Instagram are already over the format, and honestly, so are a lot of staffers.

But if the In/Out List is firmly in the “Out” column for 2024, we couldn’t resist one last hurrah Are we done yet? With every year, each new announcement gets more ridiculous. If announced an X retinol line, I wouldn’t blink. What if John Legend had worked to launch the piano equivalent of a Stradivarius instead of some moisturiser? Or Pharrell put out a vital spin on Ableton? There are so many cool ideas to pour into that would add value to this world.

A touch more imagination in your cash grabs, please. More of a prayer than a prediction, but after the fawning acclaim for the flood of two hour long ads for shoes, phones, and, yes, dolls, can we rise up and end the hellish headlines once and for all? Why are we wasting comedic gifts on a movie when we could be getting a worthy successor to ? Stop the madness.

While we’re at it, death to the personal brand. In , Naomi Klein writes about resisting marketers’ advice to specialise in order to refine her “brand”, which would have effectively required her to limit her inclinations and . You contain multitudes, and you don’t have to pump out algorithmically safe content.

Share what other gems lie within your soul. Record that flute album. I get the appeal, I really do. What other job involves finding ever more creative ways to describe how great you are, then turns you into the sole person in a anyone cares about? And the barrier for entry is seductively low. But… we don’t all need to do it.

When each viral moment has us running to the studio in the hopes of becoming the next Bhad Bhabie, we need urgent intervention. My said you should hunt for the information you need rather than tuning into all of the buzz. As a notification magpie for any reseller discount or newsletter clickbait, this idea is life changing.

I’m with the Gen Z puritans on this one. Unless it truly adds something to a film–whether it’s weird or funny or artistic–I don’t really want to watch people pretend to in my free time. I welcome the ability to watch more films with less cringe. Sue me. All the coquette/tradwife stuff is so deadening, and we need to get rid of femininity coaches once and for all.

Surely we’re done with putting on personas in the desperate hope of bagging a rich gaffer we don’t really like just so we no longer have to pay rent in an unhappy home? I miss when girls weren’t too scared to be gross or nasty. I refuse to believe people really know what these parody pages are referencing most of the time, but they share it because they want to seem like they do.

At first it was fun to see glimpses of such a distinctive London subculture reproduced, but it got old very quickly. And the fuck is litty or lengy? Shut up! We do not want to watch you put on a bed, shout “Oh my God!” as you enter a candlelit room, or kiss in front of a balloon wall. If you love each other, please show each other–not us.

Forget sex scenes, where are all the good scenes? Where’s this decade’s Peter Parker and Mary Jane upside down smooch? The new snog in the rain? A good kiss scene can be so much hotter than anything else. Back when Lil’ Kim and Nicki Minaj first rocked neon coloured wigs, it felt like a bold statement, but there’s no longer anything powerful about a cherry red bussdown.

Instead, it feels so refreshing to see in with a fro. Ice Spice and Doja Cat have breathed some new life into the natural hair movement, but there’s so much more room for experimentation. Who’s daring enough to be the next Grace Jones without just cosplaying as Grace Jones? No, really, what happened to love in 2023? dating has devolved into a game revolving around who can debase whom the furthest, the fastest, with the prize of online engagement.

Instead of reducing each other to content farms, can we get to know the person sitting in front of us and fall in love again please? What’s not to love about a costume party? Liberating that concept from Halloween and into and cinemas in 2023 was a slay. Long may it continue. As horrible as the initial shock can be, the allure of an insane celebrity pairing cannot be denied.

? EmRata and Eric André? It genuinely has the power to shift the zeitgiest, and the memes are unbeatable. To any star reading this: before you put a ring on the finger of a childhood sweetheart or a random costar, stop and think. You could get added into some obscure “Celebrities That Married A Normie!” adverticle, or you could change the culture forever.

Box dye is back, with Bleach London’s at home treatments reigning supreme; amateur crocheters are delivering haute couture level knits; and there are a million genius reels out there teaching you how to upcycle . Doing it yourself is so in for 2024. Figures like Tokyo Toni, Abby Lee Miller and Azealia Banks thrive as cult icons not in spite of their problematic nature, but because of it.

As messy as they are, it’s rare and mesmerising to see someone unfiltered, unafraid of missing out on brand deals, and owning who they are instead of issuing regular apologies via the app. And I mean, who was the real star of that breathtaking finale? This is the year of the “yes, and?” attitude.

I know everyone’s so over Y2K and hesitant about the 2010s revival, but nostalgia in trend form is the only way I get to remember a recent cultural moment in a positive light. At the time, you can’t help but think: Then the years pass, and it’s like, wait… the Valencia filter and bad quality were kind of a serve? It’s true that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone and being “revived” on Addison Rae’s Instagram.

Film discourse is back, baby. While the Barbenheimer chat was occasionally exhausting, and there have officially been too many takes on , having water cooler moments again–whether online or IRL–is a net win, especially when they’re focused on indie gems like . This one may ruffle feathers. Yes, I disagree with AI taking work from human artists, musicians, and models; yes, I understand the myriad disturbing implications of this technology; and yes, I fear them too.

ChatGPT’s sons will be writing this list next year, and I might be in prison for a deepfake crime generated by a 12 year old troll, but I’m going to be laughing hysterically until then. Think of the insanity that have unleashed just in the last 12 months. I’ve seen Beyoncé arrest Donald Trump, SpongeBob on a drill track, and what everyone would look like if they were white, Black, or Chinese, and I have to admit, it’s been hugely satisfying for an internet rotted part of my brain.

Sorry. Being young seems so young right now. Something has shifted. Twenty four used to be grown, but now you’re literally a child if you’re under 26. You could put it down to the forced infantilisation of young people, culture, or the housing crisis, but I have another theory: the growing power of the elder.

Think about it. In the past, women were yanked offstage at 35, but now Facebook mums rule the internet, demanding articles about grey hair, Salma Hayek in bikinis, and J Lo’s manis. mania has made 50 the new 30, while your 20s feel less and less like a decade worth documenting. Where’s your baggage? Develop and ripen before you come and talk to me.

Goodbye, girl: this is the dawn of the age of the woman..