The Funniest Tweets From Parents The Week Of July 16 22

LOADING ERROR LOADING Twitter/Canva Twitter/Canva Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Someday, God willing, I will attend my children’s weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets.

— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) July 17, 2022 6: why does J have two mommies? Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy… all families look diff 6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: — Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) July 20, 2022 My teen said I was old and out of touch.

I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. — Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 19, 2022 when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say “oh he’s just tired,” we’re lying, the baby really does hate you — Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) July 17, 2022 Advertisement My kid asked me for a burrito but “without all the yucky stuff inside” so I’m pretty sure he wants a tortilla — Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) July 18, 2022 Welcome to parenthood.

You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to “play through.” — SpacedMom (@copymama) July 18, 2022 My 4 year old says the wrong name for many things. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 19, 2022 While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. — Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) July 18, 2022 new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair — Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) July 20, 2022 Advertisement I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal.

— The Alex Nevil 2.0 (@AlexNevilAgain) July 17, 2022 Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said “Daddy, I don’t do busy” and I’ve never related to him more — threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) July 17, 2022 I’ve never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesn’t want to go to sleep — Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) July 19, 2022 You do not know passive aggressive until you’ve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who won’t go the fuck to sleep.

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) July 17, 2022 Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice — MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 18, 2022 Advertisement I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. — Obviously Everyone... (@OMGSoOverIt) July 18, 2022 My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some “cock & balls”.

After giving him a blank stare he said “I want white fluffy cock & balls” and omg I’ve never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. — Bre (@fullofmomsense) July 18, 2022 9yo is yelling at 13yo for eating most of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for finishing the box and I’m hiding in the breakfast room eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they don’t notice me because I don’t want to share.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) July 16, 2022 4 says all these cars are in line for gas. She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW — Adam (@YSylon) July 17, 2022 Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world — Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 20, 2022 Advertisement My 4 year old didn’t immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if you’ll excuse me I’ll be sobbing into his baby onesies — One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) July 18, 2022 Support HuffPost A No B.S.

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So when you've got questions, you know you can trust our answers. We're determined to keep HuffPost Life — and every other part of HuffPost — 100% free. Help us do that by contributing as little as $1. Support HuffPost Related Twitter funny tweets tweets of the week best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week LEAVE A COMMENT Caroline Bologna Senior Reporter, HuffPost Life Suggest a correction Do you have info to share with HuffPost reporters? Here’s how.

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