Six Years, No Ring: Why Your Partner's 'Not Ready' Might Mean 'Not Ever'

Dear Worried in Walnut Creek,

Your story echoes a familiar ache in the hearts of many: years invested, a life intertwined, yet the ultimate commitment remains frustratingly out of reach. Six years is a significant chapter, and it's understandable that you're seeking clarity, especially with your biological clock ticking louder than ever.

You’ve built a life together – shared finances, a home, and your parents adore him. He says he loves you, sees you as family, and wants to spend his life with you. So why the perpetual 'not ready' when it comes to marriage?

Let’s cut through the noise, shall we? Because what he’s telling you, and what he’s showing you, are two very different things.

And when it comes to fundamental life commitments, actions speak far louder than vague assurances of future readiness.

The Uncomfortable Truth: He Won't Propose

This might sting, but it's crucial for you to hear: He won't propose. At least, not to you, not in the way you envision. Men, for the most part, know what they want.

When a man genuinely wants to marry a woman, he acts. He plans, he saves, he proposes. Six years is more than enough time for him to have made that decision and followed through.

His excuses – 'not ready,' 'just don’t feel like it yet' – are not reasons; they are avoidance tactics. They allow him to maintain the comfortable status quo, enjoying all the benefits of a marriage without the actual commitment.

He has a live-in partner, a stable home life, financial partnership, and the loving approval of your family. From his perspective, what’s his incentive to change anything?

Understanding His Hesitation (and Why It Doesn't Matter)

While we can speculate on his reasons – fear of commitment, comfort in the current arrangement, or perhaps waiting for some elusive 'better' option – his underlying 'why' doesn't change your reality.

Your time, your desires, and your future are equally valid. His indefinite delay is effectively a 'no' to your timeline and your need for a committed future.

It's Time for You to Take Control

Waiting for him to miraculously change his mind is a passive strategy that only drains your precious time and emotional energy.

It’s time to shift from waiting to actively shaping your own future. Here's how you can take back your power:

1. Stop Accepting Vague Answers

The time for indirect hints and hopeful waiting is over. You need to have one final, direct conversation. Sit him down and calmly, clearly state what you want.

Say something like, .