When the Moon Was Cheese: John Scalzi's Hilarious and Surprisingly Plausible Lunar Expedition

We've all heard the old nursery rhyme, haven't we? The one about the moon being made of cheese. It’s a classic, a fanciful bit of childhood imagination. But what if, just for a moment, we took that idea seriously? What if a brilliant, perhaps slightly unhinged, supervillain actually pulled it off? Well, literary wizard John Scalzi, known for his clever takes on sci-fi tropes, tackles this very premise head-on in his latest novel, Starter Villain, and let me tell you, the results are nothing short of spectacular—and surprisingly thoughtful.

Now, to be clear, Scalzi's moon isn't currently a giant, ripening orb of cheddar floating above Earth. Oh no, that would be far too simple! In true Scalzi fashion, the genius (and absurdity) lies in the details: this moon was cheese. Imagine that! It was transformed, compacted, and aged into something much more… moon-like, yet still fundamentally born of dairy. It's this nuanced approach that makes the concept so captivating, moving beyond a mere punchline into a genuine, albeit humorous, exercise in world-building physics and biology.

When you start to really poke at it, the implications are mind-boggling. Beyond the initial giggle, you're forced to ponder the scientific realities. What about its mass? How would a moon initially made of dairy products affect Earth's tides, or its orbital stability? Scalzi, with that characteristic twinkle in his literary eye, really leans into the what-ifs, exploring how such a celestial body, even if processed, would behave. It's not just a block of space-cheddar; it's a fully integrated (and utterly bizarre) part of the solar system, with all the gravitational and atmospheric considerations that entails.

And speaking of considerations, let's not forget the biological angle. Even in a processed state, the remnants of its cheesy origin would surely have... effects. Think about it: bacteria, mold, unique ecosystems thriving in this unprecedented lunar environment. How would this impact the Earth? Could new forms of life emerge, or perhaps new resources? Scalzi's willingness to delve into these nitty-gritty, slightly gross, but undeniably fascinating questions is what elevates Starter Villain from mere parody to genuinely clever science fiction comedy.

Beyond the pure science, there's the societal and economic fallout. A moon that used to be cheese isn't just a scientific curiosity; it's a massive, unprecedented resource. Imagine the space tourism! The new industries! The global implications of having such a unique, well, thing orbiting our planet. Scalzi masterfully weaves these broader consequences into the fabric of his supervillain world, making the cheese moon not just a whimsical plot device, but a truly transformative element of his narrative.

What makes Starter Villain, and indeed Scalzi's approach to this concept, so brilliant is his ability to blend high-concept sci-fi with relatable humor and genuine character depth. He doesn't just present the absurd; he grounds it in a world where people (and villains, for that matter) have to deal with the practicalities of such outlandish premises. It's this balance that ensures the book isn't just funny, but also an engaging, thought-provoking read that stays with you long after the final page.

So, if you're looking for a book that dares to ask the big, ridiculous questions—and then answers them with an abundance of wit, intelligence, and a surprising amount of scientific rigor—John Scalzi's Starter Villain is an absolute must-read. It’s a testament to the power of imagination, proving that sometimes, the most outlandish ideas can lead to the most captivating stories, especially when there’s a moon involved that used to be a dairy product.