The Shallow End of Ambition: Chris Pine's 'Poolman' Struggles to Stay Afloat

When an actor as charismatic and seasoned as Chris Pine steps behind the camera for his directorial debut, there's always a certain buzz, a hopeful anticipation. Add to that an intriguing premise – a quirky Los Angeles pool cleaner turned amateur detective – and a cast that includes heavyweights like Annette Bening, Danny DeVito, and Jennifer Jason Leigh, and you'd be forgiven for thinking 'Poolman' might be a delightful, offbeat cinematic treat. Unfortunately, dear reader, if early critical reactions are any indication, Pine’s maiden voyage into directing, which he also co-wrote and stars in, seems to have capsized rather spectacularly.

Let's set the scene: Pine plays Darren Barrenman, a quintessential L.A. eccentric whose days are spent cleaning pools, but whose nights are filled with the more pressing business of attending city council meetings and uncovering what he believes to be a grand conspiracy about water diversion. It’s a concept that immediately brings to mind classics like 'Chinatown' blended with the slacker charm of 'The Big Lebowski.' And, honestly, who wouldn't be intrigued by that potential cocktail? The problem, it seems, isn't the idea itself, but rather the execution, which, sadly, veers sharply into what's been described as a self-indulgent, even unwatchable, experience.

The film attempts to weave together elements of neo-noir mystery with a lighthearted, almost screwball comedy tone. But the magic just isn't there. The humor, often relying on Barrenman's peculiar observations and stilted dialogue, reportedly falls flat, leaving an awkward silence instead of genuine laughs. It’s like trying to force a joke that everyone knows isn’t funny – the harder you try, the more uncomfortable it gets. And the pacing, oh the pacing! It reportedly meanders, much like Barrenman himself, but without the narrative purpose, dragging viewers through scenes that feel longer than they should, rather than building tension or comedic timing.

One of the most disheartening aspects, truly, is the misuse of its incredible ensemble cast. Imagine having talents like Danny DeVito, Annette Bening, and Jennifer Jason Leigh at your disposal, and then, by many accounts, giving them little to do but flail in a narrative that goes nowhere. It’s a genuine shame, a cinematic waste. Jenny Slate, usually a comedic powerhouse, portrays a psychic character that critics have singled out as particularly egregious, a caricature that does a disservice to her usual brilliance. It's almost painful to watch such skilled performers adrift in a film that reportedly lacks a coherent vision for them.

Ultimately, 'Poolman' comes across as a deeply personal project for Pine, one brimming with a certain kind of artistic ambition. But sometimes, ambition alone isn't enough. Without a critical eye, a sharper script, and a more disciplined directorial hand, what could have been a charming, quirky L.A. fable instead descends into what feels like a vanity project gone awry. It's a reminder that directing isn't just about having a vision; it's about the painstaking craft of bringing that vision to life in a way that resonates with an audience, not just with oneself. It’s a tough lesson, no doubt, but one that Pine, hopefully, will learn from as he continues to explore his talents beyond acting.