Navigating the Aftermath: Finding Our Way Through Tragedy

Life can be incredibly beautiful, but it can also deliver blows that leave us reeling, especially when tragedy strikes a community. When we face something as horrific as a mass shooting, like the one that recently shook Stockton, it's perfectly natural for a wave of complex, often overwhelming emotions to wash over us. We might feel anger, profound sadness, fear, anxiety, or even a deep sense of confusion about how such things can happen. And frankly, it’s crucial to understand that it’s absolutely okay not to be okay.

Dr. Tami Miller, a professor of psychology at Fresno State, shared some really insightful thoughts on this. She emphasizes that one of the very first, most important steps is to simply acknowledge what you’re feeling. Don't try to push those emotions down or pretend they don't exist. Whether it’s anger boiling beneath the surface, persistent sadness, or a gnawing fear for the future, those feelings are valid. Giving them space, even just by naming them, can be a powerful first step toward processing them.

Once you’ve acknowledged what’s going on inside, the next vital piece of advice is to talk about it. Really, just talk. Reach out to someone you trust – a family member, a good friend, a colleague, or a counselor. Bottling up such intense feelings can be incredibly isolating and ultimately detrimental to your well-being. Sharing your fears, your grief, or even your confusion can lighten the load and remind you that you’re not alone in experiencing these difficult emotions.

In our modern world, the news cycle can be relentless, especially after a major incident. While staying informed is one thing, becoming completely immersed in every single detail, every single update, can frankly be detrimental to our mental health. Dr. Robert Wicks, who leads the California Association of School Psychologists, points out that limiting your media consumption is a really smart move. Take breaks. Step away from the screen. Give your mind a chance to rest from the constant influx of distressing information. It’s not about ignoring what happened, but about protecting your own peace.

It might sound simple, but maintaining some semblance of a normal routine can be incredibly grounding during chaotic times. Even small things, like sticking to your regular sleep schedule, eating meals at consistent times, or continuing with your daily responsibilities, can provide a much-needed sense of structure and predictability. It’s about creating pockets of normalcy in a world that might suddenly feel very abnormal.

Another powerful way to cope, and one that often helps us feel a little less helpless, is to engage in positive actions. This could mean helping others in your community, participating in a vigil, or simply offering a kind word to someone who looks like they’re struggling. Doing something constructive, no matter how small, can foster a sense of purpose and connection, reminding us of our shared humanity and resilience.

Remember, healing from a tragedy isn't a race, and it certainly isn't a linear process. There will be good days, and there will undoubtedly be tough days. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself grace. Dr. Miller wisely reminds us that tragedy affects everyone differently, and there's no right or wrong way to grieve or process trauma. What one person needs might be completely different from another, and that's perfectly fine.

Ultimately, when an event like this impacts an entire community, we must recognize it as a collective trauma. We are all, in some way, touched by it. Leaning into our support systems, whether they’re friends, family, or professional resources, is absolutely essential. Taking care of yourself, practicing self-compassion, and reaching out for help when you need it are not signs of weakness; they are profound acts of strength. Together, we can find our footing again, one thoughtful, gentle step at a time.