Harriette Cole: I have this surreal experience at parties, and it unnerves me

: Whenever I find myself in large gatherings or social events, I constantly feel like I’m dissociating. It’s as if I’m present physically, but mentally, I struggle to connect with others, and everything around me feels distant and surreal. This has become increasingly difficult for me, as I want to engage and connect with people, but it seems like a barrier exists.

I’ve noticed that I withdraw during these situations, making it hard for me to form meaningful connections or enjoy social activities. It’s disheartening because I value my relationships, and I want to be fully present in those moments. Do you have any advice on how I can overcome this feeling of dissociation during large gatherings? I want to be able to enjoy socializing without this constant sense of detachment.

Are there techniques or strategies I can use to feel more connected and present in social settings? : When you arrive at one of these large events, stand back and take in the whole scene before you enter. Look around for someone you know or someone who looks interesting. Rather than seeing the event as this overwhelmingly huge, unmanageable group of people, view it as several small clusters of people.

Set your sights on one group, and head toward them. Introduce yourself and share one thing about why you are there. Invite them to talk as well. Continue to float from one group to another, keeping your mind on each small gathering of people rather than the overall event. : I lost my job at the end of last year, and I have not sorted out how I am going to manage my life right now.

I will receive unemployment payments for a few more weeks, but that is not enough, and it won’t last anyway. I have been looking for a job, but honestly my confidence is shot. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I will lose everything if I don’t find some kind of employment. I also feel too embarrassed to go for service jobs when I have worked as a professional for many years.

What do you think I should do to get my act together? Tackle your job search with as much energy as you would if you were on the job. Write down all of your talents and capabilities. Get creative as you think about what you are good at doing. Then go online and look for job postings in areas that reflect your abilities.

Identify at least five potential jobs each day, and send your resume and a cover letter explaining why you would be great for the job. Meanwhile, look outside of your core talent areas to see what other jobs are available — including service jobs. For example, ride hailing or delivery services are popular now and still allow for time to search for your dream job.

Think of any job you can get for now as a way to tide you over until you land in the job you really want..