Eenie Meanie: A Found-Footage Fumble You Can Absolutely Skip

In the vast landscape of indie horror, 'Eenie Meanie' emerges from the shadows, attempting to carve out its niche in the overpopulated found-footage subgenre. Unfortunately, what it delivers is a cinematic experience so devoid of originality, genuine scares, and engaging narrative that it quickly becomes a strong contender for your 'skip' list.

The film sets its familiar stage with a group of friends — pregnant Lily, her boyfriend Marcus, and their pals Sarah and Dave — embarking on a seemingly innocent getaway to a secluded cabin.

Their plan for a relaxing retreat quickly devolves when they stumble upon a strange, ominous game. You know the drill: curiosity gets the better of them, they decide to play, and before you can say 'demonic possession,' they're plunged into a nightmare orchestrated by an unseen, malevolent entity.

From the outset, 'Eenie Meanie' struggles to find its footing, leaning heavily on the very clichés that have plagued found-footage horror for years.

The shaky camera work, often a tool for immersion, here feels like a crutch for poor cinematography, frequently obscuring any potential for atmospheric dread. Instead of building tension, it merely induces a headache, leaving viewers straining to make sense of the chaotic visuals.

Perhaps the film's greatest sin is its utter failure to be scary.

Horror, at its core, demands either chilling suspense, shocking gore, or psychological torment. 'Eenie Meanie' offers none of these. Its attempts at jump scares are telegraphed miles in advance, arriving with all the subtlety of a foghorn and none of the impact. The 'demonic entity,' when hinted at, remains frustratingly vague and never truly manifests as a formidable threat, leaving the audience feeling more bored than terrified.

Adding to the film's woes are its uninspired characters and often cringeworthy dialogue.

Lily's pregnancy feels less like a narrative driver and more like a superficial attempt to raise the stakes, which ultimately falls flat. The friends engage in arguments and make baffling decisions that defy common sense, eroding any potential empathy or connection the audience might form with their plight.

Their reactions to the escalating horror are inconsistent, making it difficult to suspend disbelief and invest in their desperate struggle.

Ultimately, 'Eenie Meanie' is a film that takes a well-trodden path and manages to stumble at every turn. It offers no fresh perspective on the found-footage format, no innovative scares, and no compelling reason to spend your time watching it.

For horror aficionados seeking genuine thrills and a thoughtfully crafted narrative, this is one 'game' best left unplayed. Save yourself the headache and hit 'skip' on 'Eenie Meanie.'