A Psychologist Explains How To ‘Strength Scan’ Your Relationship

If you want a relationship that stands the test of time, don’t take the good things for granted. A 2023 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that “strength scanning” or recognizing a partner’s character strengths, such as their bravery, creativity, open mindedness or kindness can improve the quality and happiness experienced in a romantic relationship.

Strength scanning involves believing the best of a partner and focusing on what they do right rather than waiting for them to do something wrong. Researchers suggest that actively acknowledging and appreciating these strengths goes a long way in sustaining a healthy, long term bond. Here are two ways strength scanning helps you bring out the best in your relationship.

1. It Fuels Positive Illusions In A Relationship Positive illusions in a relationship refer to viewing one’s partner in an exceedingly positive light, often more positively than they see themselves and emphasizing their strengths, virtues and admirable attributes while maintaining a positive bias towards the thought of a successful future with them.

These positive illusions are generally considered healthy for relationships as they contribute to increased satisfaction and lower levels of conflict by fostering a more favorable view of one’s partner and the relationship as a whole. However, a balance between these positive illusions and a realistic understanding of one’s partner can co exist and are essential for maintaining fulfilling relationships.

Scanning for a partner’s strengths in everyday interactions can fortify these realistic positive illusions of their character. For instance, when your partner talks about their workday, you might notice that they maintain great work life boundaries, even though they have a heavy workload. “Scanning” for their strengths would mean reflecting on what it is about their character or their abilities that allows them to do this.

This reflection could fuel the realistic and positive illusion that they are highly organized, assertive and confident. According to a 2019 study , positive illusions provide a sense of security and a willingness to invest in the relationship, helping partners handle relationship challenges and treat each other’s shortcomings with more kindness and understanding.

2. It Enhances Mutual Well Being Strength scanning benefits oneself, one’s partner and the longevity of a relationship. Research shows that when an individual’s strengths are valued, they experience greater well being. Embodying higher levels of character strengths are also linked to greater marital satisfaction for both partners.

According to a 2018 study , displaying higher levels of appreciation for a partner’s strengths is associated with experiencing greater commitment, investment and intimacy. It also allows individuals to view their relationships as spaces of personal growth, where they feel supported in pursuing their own life goals.

On the other hand, focusing on the downside of a partner’s strengths, such as the tendency to stretch oneself too thin when extending emotional support, is linked to lower relationship satisfaction. Researchers found that acknowledging a partner's strengths can shape their behavior and allows them to also experience greater well being and personal growth.

It serves to amplify their confidence and self worth, cultivating a culture of appreciation and provides them with feedback on which behaviors to continue or do away with. Strength scanning can also enhance “perceived partner responsiveness,” which refers to how understanding, validating and supportive a partner is perceived to be and significantly improves relationship satisfaction .

Seeking out a partner’s strengths can make an individual more attuned to their levels of responsiveness and caring behavior as well as motivate them to be more appreciative and supportive of their partners. How To Use Strength Scanning In A Relationship Here are three ways to start acknowledging a partner's strengths.

Conclusion When both partners actively highlight each other's strengths, it creates an environment where each individual feels seen and celebrated. Recognizing and acknowledging a partner's strengths reinforces the foundation of a relationship, fostering a deeper, more loving connection, effective communication and mutual growth.

If you are curious about your current level of relationship satisfaction, take this test: Relationship Satisfaction Scale.